I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
