Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.

  (207): View more from Maine

  welcome to maine.

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  (207): The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade. (207): welcome to maine. http://tfl.nu/bd8m
  Replies (47) Good night (762) Bad night (2789)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.

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  (678): yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her. http://tfl.nu/rtst
  Replies (58) Good night (8503) Bad night (1020)
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  (619): View more from California

  You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything

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  (619): You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything http://tfl.nu/13bs
  Replies (49) Good night (798) Bad night (6328)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true

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  (330): We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true http://tfl.nu/pl0k
  Replies (23) Good night (4160) Bad night (842)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.

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  (630): don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class. http://tfl.nu/vso9
  Replies (8) Good night (1448) Bad night (3946)
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  (+75): View more from

  It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more

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  (+75): It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more http://tfl.nu/60s4
  Replies (11) Good night (687) Bad night (2102)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Semen is not good for contacts.

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  (727): Semen is not good for contacts. http://tfl.nu/krg1
  Replies (10) Good night (1062) Bad night (3249)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.

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  (715): I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs. http://tfl.nu/tciw
  Replies (3) Good night (1949) Bad night (690)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.

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  (928): It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner. http://tfl.nu/2dny
  Replies (6) Good night (1077) Bad night (412)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual

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  (217): Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual http://tfl.nu/ib6l
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (309)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!

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  (832): I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM! http://tfl.nu/isug
  Replies (3) Good night (578) Bad night (263)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.

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  (863): I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever. http://tfl.nu/l0yy
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (236)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.

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  (404): Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not. http://tfl.nu/3nps
  Replies (2) Good night (260) Bad night (601)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.

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  (402): I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween. http://tfl.nu/gen2
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (240)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.

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  (810): Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am. http://tfl.nu/2nux
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (491)

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