Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.

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  (646): If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over. http://tfl.nu/pts9
  Replies (10) Good night (638) Bad night (2234)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Big sunglasses are the new paper bag

  (817): View more from Texas

  ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex

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  (214): Big sunglasses are the new paper bag (817): ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex http://tfl.nu/2sef
  Replies (38) Good night (3094) Bad night (813)
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  (716): View more from New York

  do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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  (716): do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car? http://tfl.nu/kx3d
  Replies (10) Good night (3181) Bad night (628)
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  (530): View more from California

  69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle

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  (530): 69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle http://tfl.nu/56qq
  Replies (31) Good night (793) Bad night (6588)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...

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  (519): she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up... http://tfl.nu/djzy
  Replies (19) Good night (841) Bad night (9824)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.

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  (224): Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night. http://tfl.nu/rq15
  Replies (9) Good night (3663) Bad night (1550)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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  (443): My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve. http://tfl.nu/bc9v
  Replies (18) Good night (1213) Bad night (6771)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

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  (713): when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed http://tfl.nu/1ijl
  Replies (13) Good night (5264) Bad night (1407)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it

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  (412): I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it http://tfl.nu/8y6r
  Replies (10) Good night (2614) Bad night (786)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"

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  (732): yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing" http://tfl.nu/qoaq
  Replies (9) Good night (4394) Bad night (1015)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

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  (425): Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested. http://tfl.nu/cy6p
  Replies (5) Good night (1417) Bad night (804)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.

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  (502): He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on. http://tfl.nu/ri58
  Replies (7) Good night (1241) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin

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  (702): He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin http://tfl.nu/paaj
  Replies (4) Good night (1285) Bad night (646)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen

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  (256): I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen http://tfl.nu/i9fp
  Replies (1) Good night (845) Bad night (256)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?

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  (304): Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis? http://tfl.nu/2x4t
  Replies (6) Good night (874) Bad night (264)

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