I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.