Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
