i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
