Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
