your parents love me but you hate me
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you traded sex for a burrito?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize