she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You made out with two different species that night
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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