Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
