I am in a vortex of obligation.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
