your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They took my balls.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
