"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The maid of honor just puked.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ugly people sure do ruin things
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
