Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize