I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
