So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
