i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize