NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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