i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
