white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
