Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
