new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
