I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
