she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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