And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She bit a glass in half.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
