If i come over, it means nothing
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
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you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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