i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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