Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
