Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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