hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize