How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
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when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
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I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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