hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
