Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
