dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
