I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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