"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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