You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
