Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
