doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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