Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
