I heard we made out
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
