You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
