Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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