if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
