Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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