i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
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My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf