Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just tell him i said nine months
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree