It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...