margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
