This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.