It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
