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• (773): View more from Illinois

  i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person

  Fav 11 2327 3384

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today

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• (904): View more from Florida

  watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..

  Fav 9 3636 866

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  sounds like you fell off the wagon.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.

  Fav 5 4621 1259

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

  Fav 22 5910 1323

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.

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• (631): View more from New York

  He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.

  Fav 6 1760 922

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And your cock privileges have been revoked.

  Fav 10 1472 2033

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.

  Fav 3 663 484

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf

  Fav 2 297 383

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