You're completely useless in the revolution.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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