the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
well you can't waste a boner
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!