dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.