Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
