I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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