Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
