i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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