your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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