therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
